Either Way
by Angel of Fire SG1
Summary: She grips the railing tightly and stares out at the sun setting in the distance. They were leaving. The sky that looked so peaceful holding a threat they could no longer afford to fight...


**Warning: **Character death...

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**Either Way**

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_i. _

She stands at the edge of her balcony. Yes it is hers, sometimes it is theirs, but usually it is hers. No one disturbs her when she is out here alone, an escape so close that if there was trouble she was still reachable. It had been there since the beginning, one of the few things that remained the same.

She has changed; she makes decisions on a daily basis that she would have rather died than make a few years earlier. Although now that she is faced with that decision she finds herself choosing to make dark choices, some of them mistakes, rather than be met by the deaths of herself and her friends.

She grips the railing tightly and stares out at the sun setting in the distance.

They were leaving. The sky that looked so peaceful holding a threat they could no longer afford to fight, one they had lost too many over.

"Goodbye," she whispers.

Then she turns and walks back inside her city for the last time.

_ii._

He sits quietly in his lab, now empty of other scientists, staring blankly at it. He was terrified to come here, but somehow his curiosity and excitement had overridden his desire to run screaming for the hills and he'd made it here.

Now he is being told to leave. He doesn't want to die, but he can't bring himself to feel happy about having to walk through the 'gate back to Earth never to see this place again. They'd said they'd try and return to see what was left after the attack, but he helped set the self-destruct ten hours earlier.

Giving them enough time to evacuate…

He looks up as he realises he is no longer alone, and is met by the sad smile of his co-worker.

"It is time to go," said the Czech.

"In a minute," he replies.

"OK…"

And while Radek leaves, he doesn't move for a long time, and in his solitude a sole tear runs down his cheek.

_iii._

The city isn't his home, it never would be, and somehow he wishes he could stay and fight, die with the city if he must – because if he goes to Earth there will be nothing. He's never been there, and from what he's seen it's not somewhere he belongs.

But she asked him to go with them and now he has to go. She's the leader he's adopted as his own and he has nothing more in this galaxy. Only the promise of more attacks, more running and no friends.

He sits in the window of the gym and stares out at the sun setting. He has another option, he can join the Athosian people, but somehow he feels as though everything he has gained from these people will be lost if he does so.

Really he just wants to stay where he is.

And as the sun dips below the ocean and reveals the first fighters heading for the city he does just that.

He can't leave.

_iv._

She stands before the gate, looking up at it, having less than ten minutes before she has to make her decision. Her own people, or those she has learnt to call her friends. She isn't sure where she belongs anymore.

Her sense of duty tells her she should return to her own people and be the leader she is supposed to and her sense of adventure wants to go to Earth, but her heart wishes to stay.

She turns as she's joined by the only other woman left on the base. They share a sad smile as they both stand and stare at the gate.

"You have three minutes…"

She doesn't reply, just nods slightly.

_v._

It's the third attempt before he makes it the whole way out of the infirmary. Every time he steps out the door he is drawn back inside. Finally he finds himself standing in the doorway, staring back into the first infirmary he could call his own.

This was where he had made ground breaking discoveries, with the help of others, where he'd learnt things from an alien ancestor he'd never met that he'd never dreamt of learning. Laura, well at least when in her own body, had first kissed him in this room.

Friends had died, and been saved, right there.

Finally he smiles sadly and turns around, heading for the 'gate, for Earth.

He never wanted to come here, and he never wanted to stay – but now he can't bring himself to leave. He feels tears welling up, but he knows its Earth or death.

And somehow the second one is the easier option to deal with.

_vi._

The puddlejumpers sat before him, by far not the most impressive looking machine he'd flown, but the one he was most attached to. It was because of these little spaceship's that many lives had been saved, many battles fought.

Although he had to admit his attachment to the little ships was a lot more to do with him being the first person from Earth to ever fly one, somehow that made them his discovery.

"Thanks," he said, patting the jumper lightly before turning and heading for the 'gate.

He takes one last look at the jumper bay before making his way down the staircase and back into the control room. They're all there.

Elizabeth, Rodney, Teyla, Radek and Carson.

Only Ronon is missing, but somehow this doesn't surprise him at all. As he reaches the top of the stairs he stops. Elizabeth turns around and looks at him.

She walks towards him, up the staircase, stopping on the step below him.

"I'm staying…"

He wants to argue, to tell her that it's just a city, but he knows his heart wouldn't be in it – and one thing he believes in strongly is never arguing a case unless his heart is in it.

"Then so am I…"

His eyes shift to the others who are now making their way up the staircase as well. Carson hesitates the longest but then he follows.

"We all are," Rodney speaks.

He nods and they are moving for the balcony. He glances at his watch as the others walk before him, seeing they have two minutes remaining. He can hear the fighters attacking the city now.

_vii._

She finds herself back on the balcony, but now the sun's rays have almost completely disappeared from the sky and have been replaced by Wraith darts. She never thought she'd die at the hand of a weapon she herself had typed in a code to set.

There had been so much she had expected when first stepping through that gate to the Pegasus Galaxy. New discoveries, new friendships, new enemies…but she had never expected to see so much death at her own hands.

She glances at the man next to her. Someone she never expected to be her friend, let alone anything more.

In her last minutes she reaches over and lightly nudges his hand with hers and moments later their fingers are intertwined and she knows this is the end.

_viii._

He never thought he would die fighting, not like this, but he finds he would rather stand here and be destroyed with the city than go back to the nothingness he had before. This city brought him friends, almost a family, that he would never have had on Earth.

He couldn't leave it.

He leans against the poll and watches the end coming.

_ix._

He wonders if he's alone now, he wonders if anyone cares. Maybe Teyla will, maybe even Elizabeth, but he doubts they will dwell on it long. He watches as the first blasts hit the city and he knows it isn't long until the self-destruct goes off.

He closes his eyes, ready to die alone.

"Ronon…"

His eyes spring open as she sits down opposite him.

"You stayed…"

"We all did."

And as she smiles he realises while all of them were alone before they came here, by finding this city they had found each other and that meant more to any of them than going home.

_x._

She stands on the balcony for less than thirty seconds before she turns and leaves. The others either don't notice, or understand. She knows where he is, the only place he would ever be. She enters the gym and sees him.

He's resigned himself to death, his eyes closed.

"Ronon…" she whispers.

His eyes spring open and his surprise at seeing her is clear.

"You stayed…"

"We all did."

He had to know he wasn't alone. As she sits opposite him she turns to stare through the glass at the darts firing on them.

There's thirty seconds left. And in those thirty seconds she leans across and places her lips lightly on his. He kisses her and as the end nears she understands they could never live anywhere but here.

_xi._

He doesn't stay. He follows straight after Teyla leaves, and he says nothing. No one asks, they understand. He dials Earth's address and watches as the wormhole connects, sending his IDC as he walks towards it. Then he's back on Earth.

The wormhole shuts off behind him and he finds himself staring at unfamiliar faces, guards and soldiers.

Then the door to the gateroom opens and she runs in, almost in tears, throwing her arms around him, he places his arms around her and buries his face in her shoulder.

He left them, but he had to come back. He couldn't do that, not to her.

"I thought you were going to stay…" she leans back and looks into his eyes.

He looks back into her eyes. "I wanted to, but I couldn't."

She nods. Then as she starts walking away from the ramp he glances at his watch.

_Twelve seconds._

_xii._

He's glad as she squeezes his hand tightly, cringing as a dart fires far too closely to them. There are only four of them left.

_Ten seconds_.

He turns to look at her, raising his other hand to touch her face.

_Nine._

She turns to face him and frowns slightly.

_Eight._

"I love you," he says.

_Seven_.

"I wish you'd said something earlier."

_Six._

"Hindsight…" he whispers as he leans forward and kisses her.

_Five._

_Four._

_Three._

_Two._

_One…_

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End file.
